"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
I have been thinking about that quote lately. I looked it up. It is credited to Lao Tzu, a mystic philosopher of ancient China.
There can be many ways to reflect upon this quote and many meanings to gain from it.
On the first day of October my plans for the day got changed. Since I was near Front Runner, an athletic store, I thought to myself 'why not go get a good pair of walking shoes since I've not had a new pair in at least 12-15 years?!?!' Since I didn't argue with myself, I went straight to the store and tried on a couple of pairs of shoes. My thought was that if I got a new pair of walking shoes then I could start walking on a regular basis because I would have proper fitting and proper supporting shoes. My other thinking was, 'hey... it is my birth month and why not?!?'
So, I found a pair of shoes and made a leaping investment. Figuring out the years that I had not bought a pair of shoes, it seemed very economically sound to me.
At my Taekwondo class that day I mentioned to a friend my new purchase and plan to start walking. We started walking daily. We walk a mile to two miles daily. We walk inside the mall if it's raining. Otherwise we walk at pocket wilderness, the greenway, portions of the river walk. Once we walked a track.
I also walk on my own and with my husband and family at other times.
I'm not attempting to walk a thousand miles.
My original goal was simply to walk.
I knew it would benefit me. I knew that the added exercise would be good for me. I knew that time in the woods would also benefit my soul and mind. Mind, body, soul. There was no way to lose with this!
Well, I have been losing. Weight, that is. And, that is an extra blessing to the walking. Not unexpected, yet not one of my goals for walking. However, it fits in with my overall goal getting my weight to a lower number.
So, I'm walking. Step by step. Mile by mile.
Since mid-October I have walked 51.5 miles as of today (per Runkeeper application). I have walked more than that with basic walking and the times I don't keep track [I started walking October 2 and didn't start using Runkeeper until October 15th. So, I've actually walked more than this, but who's counting?!?! ☺]. My pace is increasing slightly as I go along. But, that's not a goal yet. Not until I start training for some sort of 5K. ☺
This is my story of taking the first step. Literally. Into walking, into a healthier me..... physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
It all started that first day back in October when my schedule was turned around and didn't work out the way it was supposed to and I felt the "nudge" to go buy shoes.
I followed up on that nudge.
What nudge has been pushing gently on you or inside you? You know the one.... you can hear it, but it's quiet. It's a small voice. You almost think you didn't hear it. Listen again. Listen carefully. Then, begin. Take the step. Begin the journey. Whatever it is.
If you're willing to share what is nudging you, please do. If you're willing to share your story and your journey, I'd love to listen.
I'm not really sure what I've thought about the big "50" until now. What do I think about it? I'm excited. Though I've not thought a whole lot about it, I started thinking about it as my 49th approached. I had planned to go hang gliding for my 50th birthday (since it didn't work out earlier in life). Yet, as my 49th approached, I felt the urge to simply go ahead and do it. And, I'm so glad I did! If you haven't figured that out from the three blog postings I put up on my experience. ☺
I had one friend ask -- 'now what?' Now that I have flown to great heights, what will I do for the 50th? Great question.
At the very end of October, I collected on my free Starbucks coffee drink. I didn't go skimpy. Would you? I had these thoughts that days: "Thanks Starbucks! Happy free birth drink to me! Love that perk on the
rewards card! Alas, today ends the celebration month. But... The year of 49
will continue on with many more adventures! Gearing up for 50 and
beyond!!"
I had an Academy friend respond to that, saying: "Time to plan your jubilee." This put the idea of "Year of Jubilee" in my mind. It resonated with me and I have been contemplating that.
I don't know about a party yet, that's a long way off. What I may do is implement what a fellow board member did for her 60th this year. She planned several gatherings and outings and invited folks to join her. That's a cool idea. Folks went to the functions they could, they were able to celebrate and fellowship in a variety of settings. This idea resonates with me more than a party. I can see activities from dinners to opportunities to serve to maybe a concert (depends on who's in town or close enough) to a road trip to hiking to pottery shopping to.... who really knows?!?!
I have time to think about that. ☺
But it's not just the celebration of turning 50. I do want to contemplate all that has brought me to this point. And though it doesn't sting as bad as it used to, there was a time in my life that I honestly didn't think I'd live beyond 33 years old. That's because one of my dear family members died at that young age and for some reason, it imbedded deep within my psyche and soul that I might not live beyond that age either.
In these 49 years I have experienced more, traveled more, learned more, done more, dealt with more, seen more, been blessed with more.... than I could ever have imagined. Maybe I will attempt to create a list at some point..... of all the blessings, all the relationships, all the places, all the experiences.... WHEW!
I have had my share of difficult and horrific situations in my life. But there has been TONS of grace and forgiveness extended to me along the way. I consider all those situations a blessing to be part of who I am today. Yeah, I know... there's not a whole lot of detail there. But if you want to know, I'll share. There are stories about catching a brother on fire, breaking a collarbone, burning a friend's leg on a motorcycle ride, wrecking with my Dad on a motorcycle in a graveyard, marriage, divorce, pregnancy, etc.
What do I look forward to most in planning my jubilee? The intentional focus on my relationship with God and others over the past and into the future.
I am free and desire to continue living this life reckless, with abandon.
What does this mean for my celebration of the year of jubilee? I don't know. I hope it means that I continue to love well, to live well, to seek forgiveness when I don't. I hope that I'm able to risk vulnerability and be transparent enough to show the love and light of the One who created me and has sustained me to this point.
There might be more hang gliding.
There might even be a 1/2 marathon..... where I walk, not run. I'm not sure my restored ACL and exercise-induced asthma could handle me running. However, I won't rule it out.
There will likely be at least one testing for a higher rank in taekwondo... at some point.
I imagine there will be continued learning and growing, beyond my comfort zone. And, that's good.
My plan is to live the 49th and 50th fully! Living fully won't mean being on the go all the time either. There will be times of quiet, silence, solitude.... In fact, it might be time to go on a silent retreat for more than a 1/2 day. ☺ Or, at least take off to the beach or a cabin somewhere! ☺
Whether my themes will follow the Biblical ones in the article that Cindy followed (release, redemption, restoration) or whether God puts some other themes on me is yet to be seen. I will take time to contemplate what this special time can mean for me.
Whether you've already celebrated your "Year of Jubilee" or are nowhere near it, it doesn't hurt to think about your life in terms of living into each and every year that you have to celebrate.
Is there anything specific you hope to learn, experience, share, etc. no matter which number happens to be on this particular year?
Blessings on your journey!
Debra
P.S. As for a cake.... what would it be if I submitted to some sort of celebration? It would need to be a combination of at least the following three: motorcycle, hiking, taekwondo. That would be one wild cake!
Today has been a busy day. First, there was the Hixson Wildcats Crawl at which my daughter and I were volunteer water station folks. From there I went to the last session of our Soulfeast study at church, a brunch gathering to finish out the last two chapters of the book by Marjorie Thompson that we've been going through this fall. Then, it was to the daughter's piano class. Tomorrow is recital day. I took a short break before going out to the grocery store.
This morning I opened up the Jesus Calling devotional by Sarah Young as I was heading out the door. I chuckled as I read the first line: "As you look at the day before you, you see a twisted, complicated path, with branches going off in all directions. You wonder who you can possibly find your way through that maze." As I read further along, these words caught my attention: "As you look again at the path ahead, you notice that a peaceful fog has settled over it, obscuring your view. You can see only a few steps in front of you, so you turn your attention more fully to Me and begin to enjoy My Presence. The fog is a protection for you, calling you back to the present moment."
There was a bit of fog today, so this was very appropriate.
I attempted to be present in the moment at each place, enveloped in what I was doing at the time. There is truly something to the foggy aspect of things and not being able to see that which is further down the road. It does cause you to focus on the present.
When driving in dense fog, one tends to become very aware of one's very present surroundings. I remember driving up the "W road" on Signal Mountain to visit a friend once. It wasn't foggy in the valley, but when I came to the "W", it became super thick. It was a dark night and I simply couldn't see anything. I rolled down my windows and was listening for cars coming down the "W" portion as that was the scariest portion for me to be when I couldn't see. I had to trust my other facilities and keep moving.
Though I haven't fully kept my attention in the present moment throughout the day, I have been able to at least be more intentional about doing so.
The last line in the devotional is this: "Someday the fog will no longer be necessary, for you will have learned to keep your focus on Me and on the path just ahead of you."
Though I didn't include the last line of the devotional in that blog post, just the fact that it caught my attention then and now again makes me think I haven't quite gotten to the point of the fog no longer being necessary in my life. That's okay. Even though fog can be scary at times, it is also quite beautiful, peaceful, and serene.
Just this past week I was able to witness a gorgeous sunrise on the lake in the fog.
If I need the fog to help me stay better focused and to live in the present, I'll live into that. I do enjoy the clear blue sky days and/or white puffy clouds too that expand across the sky. Maybe those are days that I'm not needing to focus on the present, but rather days in which I'm to plan and dream. Hmmm...
Something to contemplate at a later time. At this present moment I need to bring this to a close and switch gears to planning a lesson.
One of the assignments for PR 501 was to choose a Psalm and preach it. We first did an outline and posted that for our classmates' feedback. Then we were to write it out and preach it for a live audience, having them evaluate us. We were to videotape the sermon (8-10 minutes in length) and post it in our online class for additional feedback.
I chose Psalm 42.
For this particular assignment, I decided to focus on the waterfall. As I spent time in the Psalm, it intrigued me that no matter how much despair or struggle the Psalmist went through, the Psalmist ended up in a place of hope. This hope was based upon the experience of God's relationship with the Psalmist and the grace extended (as I read it). So, I came up with "Waterfall of Grace".
Here is my outline:
Introduction
1.Picture a waterfall in your mind.
2.If it helps to think of a well-known one such
as Niagara Falls or another one you're familiar with, do so.
3.Picture the water flowing over the rocks, the
mist spraying toward you, and the sound of the roar.
4.If it's not too big of a waterfall, picture
yourself, underneath the waterfall, enjoying the water falling down on you and
around you.
5.If you're thirsty, would you try to capture
some of that water flow in a tiny cup?
6. In Psalm 42, we
see the Psalmist struggle back and forth throughout the Psalm, longing for God,
thirsting for God.
7. In verse 7, he
expresses complete surrender and submission to God by becoming engulfed in
God's presence: "deep calls to deep at the thunder of your cataracts; all
your waves and your billows have gone over me."
8. Even when we are
struggling, like the author of this Psalm, we can pour out our souls to God,
remain steadfast in hope, and accept the grace that God offers us that will
quench our thirsty souls.
Thesis
God's overflowing
abundant grace is available to us all as we remain steadfastly hopeful in God,
even through difficult times, giving praise to God and recognizing God as our
helper.
Body
I.We are created to long and thirst for God.
A.the Psalmist desires God (v.1) and recognizes
God as the living God for whom he thirsts (v. 2)
B.the Psalmist questions when he will be able
to see God/be in God's presence once again [expression of longing/desire] (v.2)
II.We can pour out our soul to God and remember
God when our soul is cast down.
A.In tears or in anguish (v.3)
B.When others question the existence of our God
(v.3)
C. When we don't understand why
our souls are downcast or disturbed. (v.5)
III.As we keep an ongoing connection with God
through times of torment and trial, we can hold steadfastly to God as our help
and hope.
A.We can choose to remain steadfast in hope,
recognizing God as our help. (v. 5)
B.By recognizing God's work in the past, we can
look forward with strength, acknowledging the power and depth of God (vv. 6-8,
9, 11)
Conclusion
1. This Psalm
speaks to me in the midst of daily living.Though my circumstances might be difficult, my soul thirsts for God, for
the living God.
2. As deep calls to
deep, I know that God will fill my thirsty soul, meeting me in my
circumstances.
3. Portion of Psalm
42 Prayerby Jerry Webber:
"Open my eyes,
my heart,
to experience the Niagara of
Your grace
crashing down upon me moment by
moment.
Help me to catch
more and more of Your grace,
trading my narrow-necked bottle
for a
Niagara-filled tub." (Sometimes an
Unknown Path, p. 6)
4. What in your
life has left you thirsting and longing for God?
5. Like the
Psalmist, can you choose to remember God's deeds in the past and remain
steadfastly hopeful and know God to be your rock and living God for whom you
thirst?
6. Can you allow
yourself to experience the "Niagara of God's grace?"May it be so.
Here is the manuscript for the sermon: (not word for word what ended up coming out during the actual sermon... but that is normal)
Waterfall of
Grace
Psalm 42
Look
around you.There isn't much water
flowing from this waterfall today.We
have come here to experience the beauty of the waterfall, but it isn't flowing.We long to enjoy the beauty of the Creator's waterfall,
but it isn't here today.Does that mean
that we are left hopeless in our longing? The Psalmist in Psalm 42 is crying
out to God in his longing.Let's listen
to see how he responds to God in his longing and to see if we can find what he
found.
Hear the
Psalmist: (NIV--New International Version)
1 As the deer pants for streams
of water, so
my soul pants for you, my God. 2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When
can I go and meet with God? 3 My tears have been my food day
and night, while people say to me all day long, “Where
is your God?” 4 These things I remember as
I pour out my soul: how I used to go to the house of God under
the protection of the Mighty One with shouts of joy and praise among
the festive throng.
5 Why, my soul, are you
downcast? Why
so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for
I will yet praise him, my
Savior and my God.
6 My soul is downcast within me; therefore
I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the
heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar. 7 Deep calls to deep in
the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have
swept over me.
8 By day the Lord directs his love, at
night his song is with me— a prayer
to the God of my life.
9 I say to God my Rock, “Why
have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed
by the enemy?” 10 My bones suffer mortal agony as
my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, “Where
is your God?”
11 Why, my soul, are you
downcast? Why
so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for
I will yet praise him, my
Savior and my God.
Since
there isn't a waterfall for us here to look at, picture a waterfall in your
mind.If
it helps to think of a well-known one such as Niagara Falls or another one
you're familiar with, do so. Now, picture the water flowing over the rocks, the
mist spraying toward you and on you, and the sound of the roar drowning out
other sounds. If it's not too big or dangerous or a waterfall, picture
yourself, underneath the waterfall, enjoying the water falling down on you and
around you.Picture
yourself thirsty and trying to get some of the tested clean and drinkable water.
Would you try to capture some of that water flow in a tiny cup or use a bottle with a small
opening?The very thing that can often
overwhelm us can also be an instrument of grace.
Would
you not want to immerse yourself into the fullness offered you?
In Psalm 42, we see the Psalmist struggle back
and forth throughout the Psalm, longing for God, thirsting for God.In verse 7, he expresses complete surrender
and submission to God by becoming engulfed in God's presence: "deep calls
to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and your breakers have
swept over me."Even
when we are struggling, like the author of this Psalm, we can pour out our
souls to God, remain steadfast in hope, and accept the grace that God offers us
that will quench our thirsty souls.
God's overflowing abundant grace is available
to us all as we remain steadfastly hopeful in God, even through difficult
times, giving praise to God and recognizing God as our helper.
Let's
break the Psalm into three sections:
I.We
are created to long and thirst for God.
II.We can
pour out our soul to God and remember God when our soul is cast down.
III.As
we keep an ongoing connection with God through times of torment and trial, we
can hold steadfastly to God as our help and hope.
I.We
are created to long and thirst for God.
A.the Psalmist desires God
(v.1) and recognizes God as the living God for whom he thirsts (v. 2)
B.the Psalmist questions when
he will be able to see God/be in God's presence once again [expression of
longing/desire] (v.2)
II.We
can pour out our soul to God and remember God when our soul is cast down.
A.In tears or in anguish (v.3)
B.When others question the
existence of our God (v.3)
C. When we don't understand why our souls are downcast or disturbed.
(v.5)
III.As
we keep an ongoing connection with God through times of torment and trial, we
can hold steadfastly to God as our help and hope.
A.We can choose to remain
steadfast in hope, recognizing God as our help. (v. 5)
B.By recognizing God's work in
the past, we can look forward with strength, acknowledging the power and depth
of God (vv. 6-8, 9, 11)
This Psalm speaks to me in the midst of daily
living.Though my circumstances might be
difficult and overwhelming, my soul thirsts for God, for the living God.As one example, just these past two weeks I
have been making several cold calls over the phone and to hospital waiting
rooms and a courtroom to attempt to offer pastoral care and ministry of
presence to others. These haven't been easy
situations.I do not have the strength
or resources on my own to supply what is needed in these situations.But, as deep
calls to deep, I know that God will fill my thirsty soul, meet me in my
circumstances and overflow into the lives around me.
It is
God's grace, overflowing, that carries me and carries you, no matter what our
circumstances.
I want
to share aportion of Psalm 42 Prayerby
Jerry Webber:
"Open my eyes, my heart,
to experience the Niagara of Your grace
crashing down upon me moment by moment.
Help me to catch more and more of Your grace,
trading my narrow-necked bottle
for a
Niagara-filled tub." (Sometimes an
Unknown Path, p. 6)
What in your life has left you thirsting and
longing for God?(pause)
Like the Psalmist, can you choose to remember
God's deeds in the past and remain steadfastly hopeful and know God to be your
rock and living God for whom you thirst? (pause)
Can you allow yourself to experience the
"Niagara of God's grace?"(pause)
May it be so.
Here is the video of my sermon:
Here are my reflections I had from the experience: (what I turned in with my assignment)
The ongoing living Word within me went through some
changes in the process.After my first
run-through orally, it was 8:35.I felt
I could and should change some things as it continued to work on me.
One change I made for my audience was that I
originally planned to use the NRSV, but switched to NIV.I did that so I wouldn't need to take time to
explain "cataracts" because there would be middle-school students in
the audience.
I also re-arranged where I put my thesis and don't
know if that was such as wise choice in the end, but I did it and so be
it.It confused some folks as they
filled out the evaluation because I left the thesis portion in the introduction
section on it.I probably should have
simply asked elsewhere on the evaluation if there was a clear thesis and what
it was.Oh, well.Clarity is an ongoing communication goal in
all areas of life! ☺
Today I felt nerves going into the day.I think some of that was knowing I would be
delivering the sermon and especially that it would be the first time I would be
videotaped (to my knowledge).I have
tapes of my very first sermon (1988) and one recent one from a church this past
Spring/Summer.They have others on file
I could get.
Being nervous isn't new... it happens prior to
speaking, whether teaching, giving a talk, or preaching.In fact, for 24 years of teaching, the first
day of every fall semester was always one of those times full of nervous
anticipation.
Once I got going...once I get going, I tend to
settle in and settle down.
Making eye contact today didn't happen at the beginning
as much, but I grew into it.
Today was a tad colder than expected and I felt a
little bad for making my audience be out there in 46 degree weather, even for a
short time.They were gracious and one
even said he didn't notice once he was listening.That was super to hear from a retired Navy
Chaplain.
Watching the video was difficult.I take pictures.I don't like my picture being taken.Seeing me isn't pleasant, though I'm fine
with who I am and what I look like and how I'm aging. It's just that I picture
myself as a high school/college student still, so the truth can be shocking. ☺
Beyond that, observation of self is difficult, but I
can learn from observation.Because of
where my videographer daughter stood in relation to the rest of the audience,
my hand gestures were more obvious on camera than to them.So, I need to be aware of making gestures
visible to folks when/if I'm going to use them and not allow a stand or lectern
to obscure the view.
I ended up going over (time-wise) on the delivery
whereas I had gone under in practice.This was likely due to the editing plus my starting over when I messed
up the Psalm Prayer.Though it was only
one minute and thirteen seconds over, it was still over.I'm okay with that though.I read somewhere that there would be grace. ☺
Not knowing what might occur by being outside in
nature, I still felt led to do this outside by the waterfall.So, I did.This waterfall really only runs when it rains lots.But, it is next to the road that goes into a
lower parking area.I wasn't sure if it
would have water or how much traffic there would be today.The only other cars besides ours were parked
in the higher lots.Only one hiker
walked by during the taping, around minute 5.She caught my eye and in my mind (as I'm speaking) I'm wondering what
she's thinking about this group of 7 on the side of the road and some woman
preaching to them.I was wondering if
she might stop to listen, but she didn't.It would be a neat location for an outdoor chapel. ☺
This is the first time I have ever received formal
feedback in writing on my preaching.This was good to receive.I have
gotten informal feedback prior.When I
preached at my own church and my mentored ministry mentor (pastor) and I met,
he gave me good feedback.I have gotten
other feedback along the way.I gave a
10 minute sermon earlier this Fall while studying Preaching Rocket and got
feedback from the preacher who led us and one other participant.That was helpful too. My goal and desire is
to continue learning and growing from all of the experiences and feedback.
Though the experience is over, the living, breathing
Word of God isn't quite through working in me.It seems to still be going through my heart, mind, and soul.Even though it has been released, it hasn't
fully left me.Part of that is because
I've been asked to share with the Wesley Center tomorrow night.Due to that being a different group in a
different setting, I know I will need to change some things.In fact, I'm considering not using the
manuscript at all and starting with a totally different viewpoint.We'll see how tomorrow's sermon goes.Every sermon will be different because words
are dynamic, just as the living Word is dynamic.
I am blessed to have had this class and this
experience because it has pushed me beyond where I was.
----------------------------------------
I don't know how this post will connect with you on your journey, but I put it out there. It was and is a part of my journey, a part of my learning and growth... So I risk vulnerability and share it.
I'm on a fairly tight schedule. (Okay, I can hear several people now saying 'When are you not?') But really, I just got back in from my morning walk and delivering the latest motorcycle parts to the shop for my bike. I have an evaluation to fill out for a classmate's sermon. I have taekwondo class in less than two hours. I need to start writing my final ethics paper (GULP!) due Monday (ANOTHER GULP!) And, I agreed to speak at the Wesley Center tonight, sharing the sermon I prepared for my preaching class. But, it needs to be changed because it is a different setting and a different audience. So, in the background of my being, there is a sermon swirling around inside of me.
Additionally, there are life lessons, experiences, books read (The Homiletical Beat: Why All Sermons Are Narrative by Eugene Lowry), a book I'm reading (The Preaching Life by Barbara Brown Taylor), songs that keep coming up on the radio, quotes from Jesus Calling devotions, conversations, reflections on all of the previous, ETC. that are SWIRLING around in my heart, mind, and soul.
And, in order for me to concentrate on the aforementioned assignments, I must clear out some mental space so that I can focus.
Basically, I need to do a spiritual dump (download). Yes, that's right. At some point I hope to be able to come back and flesh out the thoughts and reflections..... but for now, I need to dump (download).
It will likely be random for most who are reading this. But, that's okay. It is usually random for me.
Songs I continue to hear over and over on the radio point blank hit the mark where I am and where I want to be and live into.
Words and lines such as:
"I wanna live with abandon..." (Newsboys from the song "Live With Abandon"-- see below)
"I want to live this life unsafe, unsure, but not afraid..." (Audio Adrenaline from the song "Believer") [previously shared on another blogpost]
"Let your light so shine..." (Josh Wilson from "Pushing Back the Dark"--see below) [new for me]
"your love is all I have to give..." (Brandon Heath from the song "Your Love")
Newsboys
Lyrics: "Live With Abandon"
Chasing after this world makes me tired
Praisin' my own name leaves me dry
There's gotta be so much more to life than this
A higher calling that I missed
I want my life to count, every breath
I wanna live with abandon
Give You all that I am
Every part of my heart Jesus
I place in Your hands
I wanna live with abandon
I'll drop everything to follow You
It's only Your hands I hold onto
There's gotta be more to life than this
A higher calling that I missed
I want my life to count, every breath
I'm not looking back
I'm done with that
Wanna give You all I have
Josh Wilson
Lyrics: "Pushing Back the Darkness"
Verse 1
One million reasons why, you shouldn't even try.
After all you're just one heart, a single candle in the dark.
And there are shadows here, feeding on your fears,
That you don't have what it takes - who are you to make a change?
But oh, oh, don't underestimate the God you follow.
(Chorus)
Whatever you do, just don't look back.
Oh somebody needs the light you have.
Whatever you do, just don't lose heart.
Keep on pushing back the dark,
Keep on pushing back the dark.
Verse 2
The city on a hill, it should be shining still.
Every sinner saved by grace, has a purpose, has a place
Inside the bigger plan, we might not understand.
But if we just keep walking on, we will see the Kingdom come, yeah.
(Chorus)
Whatever you do, just don't look back.
Oh somebody needs the light you have.
Whatever you do, just don't lose heart.
Keep on pushing back the dark,
Keep on pushing back the dark.
(Bridge)
(Let your lights all shine...)
Oh, oh, don't underestimate the God you follow.
He is the light that burns inside your soul,
So keep on shining 'til the whole world knows.
(Chorus)
(Let your lights all shine)
When you feel like you're too small
(Let your lights all shine)
To do any good at all
(Let your lights all shine)
Like a sunrise through the window
(Let your lights all shine)
Like a symphony crescendo
(Let your lights all shine)
We are waking up again, we are rising from the dead
(Let your lights all shine)
We are shining like the stars, we are pushing back the dark
(Let your lights all shine)
Yeah, we are pushing back, pushing back the dark
(Let your lights all shine)
We are pushing back, we are pushing back, pushing back the dark
(Let your lights all shine)
Just pushing back, we are pushing back, pushing back the dark
Ahhhhhh.......... the space is freeing up already. Though there ARE many more things swirling around that I WANT to write about and COULD write about, I NEED and MUST direct my attention to my studies and other responsibilities for the moment.
I hope that my spiritual mental dumping (downloading) ground was somewhat refreshing if you found yourself reading along. At least there was some music and lyrics to check out.
What is swirling around in your heart, mind, and soul these days?
(This clip here is not what we watched, but gives you an idea of Rohr's book)
The centering prayer group I attend has been watching the DVD "How Do We Breathe Under Water?" by Richard Rohr for the past two months (or so). I have only been to two of the sessions. I went once in September (20th) and then again yesterday (November 8). I imagine the entire series was as powerful as the two portions I was able to watch because each one gave me vivid and powerful images and nuggets of truth.
I'm not sure what exact conference the DVD we were using might be from, but I did find a DVD of this on the Boston Contemplative Outreach website, if you're interested in the DVD.
Here is what is listed from their website about the DVD they offer:
How Do We Breathe Under Water? The Gospel and 12-Step Spirituality
In this series, Fr. Richard Rohr offers hope and practical suggestions from many sources including Bill Wilson's Big Book and Scripture.
Inner Room: Contemplative Prayer as the 11th Step (DVD)
DVD Disc One --Session 1 --(Keating): The Inner Room: The Place of Union
--Session 2 --(Rohr): Contemplation: How we had it, how we lost it, how we're getting it back
DVD Disc Two --Session 3 --(Keating): Light, Love, and Life of the Trinity
--Session 4 --(Rohr): The Wound of Love
DVD Disc Three --Session 5 --(Keating and Rohr): Question and Answer Session
DVD Disc Four --Session 6 --(Keating and Rohr): Closing Comments -- Awakening to the Divine Indwelling
--Session 7 -- Keating Homily and Rohr closing Comments
The DVDs we watched could have been from a particular conference where Rohr spoke. I am not sure.
Regardless, the information is based on his book, Breathing Under Water: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps. It's a book on my wish list. I haven't had time to read it yet.
Here is what I got out of yesterday's clip:
There is a lack of deep self/God self/ontological self (who you are in God) in every addict.
An addict lives with a lack of meaning in his/her life.
A true self finds meaning in everything, even the hard things (such as sin, abuse, failure, etc.).
"My deepest me is God." Something that Catherine of Genoa ran through the streets saying (way back when) and something all mystics know (or come to know).
Amazement doesn't transform; it causes addiction to where you need more and more.
The ordinary, simply standing is where the transformation will take place. When you can stand, holding the pain and paradox together, newness and transformation will occur as you stand in this mystery. (For me, this made me think of being "ministry of presence" for others. Simply being. Being that presence, available, able to hold together whatever was there.)
Stabat mater. "Standing Mother". Was mentioned in relationship to Mary standing at the cross of Jesus. Not a term or hymn I was familiar with, but we discussed it afterwards. This Latin hymn has a large tradition. For information on the hymn and its history, check out these links: Stabat Mater English; The Ultimate Stabat Mater Website. There are YouTube videos of orchestras, classical guitars, and singers of the hymn.
Electric wires. What goes in, goes out. Like an immediate conduit.
In comparison to a transformer in which the unsafe voltage comes in and only the safe voltage goes out. Jesus was the ultimate transformer. (I must admit that at this moment, I had a sudden image switch to the Transformer toys and thought how cool.... Jesus as the ultimate transformer.... what would that look like, what would his powers be.... but I brought my thoughts back to Rohr and the electrical transformer.*) Rohr talked about Jesus standing there, hanging there, absorbing the energy. Redeeming.
Carry the voltage. Be a transformer. Not the electric wire. But, you pay the price by not passing on the voltage and my being the transformer and not the electric wire. (Some deep stuff to contemplate. But very true. We can hold the suffering for others. In many ways, that is what I've done this past week in a multitude of settings. It has been my privilege to listen to many different people, to visit hospitals, and to hold the suffering. Being a transformer is transformational not only for others, but for ourselves as well. At least, that is what I'm experiencing. In no way can I understand the "ultimate transformer" experience, but I get what Rohr was saying here.)
Rohr spoke about intensity vs. intimacy and how folks tend to seek after intensity but what they are really wanting is intimacy. Intimacy is a calmer, constant high (if I heard correctly).
Rohr read "Farewell Letter" by David Whyte. You can find it here on Journey Through Grief. Scroll down a little ways to find it. At the end of the poem is a P.S. It reads "All of your intuitions were true." On the DVD, Rohr said, "All of your intuitions are true." and added "life, love, forgiveness". (That struck a chord in me. Intuitions being true. Those of life, love, forgiveness. Often I have intuitions and I'm not always sure whether to trust them or not. Yet, just this week I was validated once again to continue listening to these intuitions/nudgings. Maybe my discernment muscles are gaining some strength. I don't know. But, to hear this from another source caught my attention.)
Being able to attend the centering prayer group was a tremendous blessing for me yesterday. Not only did I hear from Richard Rohr through DVD, I also participated in prayer and discussion with a great group of folks. The prayer time is always refreshing for me.
I hope to be able to watch the rest of the DVD and/or read Rohr's book at some point. I've read a couple of Rohr's books and have listened to one other CD, "The Cosmic Christ." Rohr resonates with me and strikes a place that causes me to open up, to hear, and grow.
Blessings on your journey,
Debra
*My curiosity got the best of me and I decided to search images on Google to see if there was a Jesus transformer image out there. This is what I found.
It's a process. You can look at it a number of ways. Really. But it's not the process that has had me befuddled this week.
What has been swirling around in my heart, mind, and spirit this week is a word that I couldn't put my finger on at first. But I will come back to this word later.
First, I want to share this. When I mention spiritual growth, I'm talking about the natural result/consequence/product of an intentional relationship with God. That spiritual growth might happen under the surface, in the darkness, in the hidden places as well as in the light and open places, but it will happen because of the intentional relationship. Because of grace (especially prevenient grace), there is much going on in the growth spectrum unbeknownst to any of us prior to our acknowledgement of such relationship. But that isn't my focus here today.
Words that came to mind as I was thinking about spiritual growth earlier this morning: grace, cultivate, intentional, process, grow, community, worship, next step... I was searching through a bunch of pictures from a Google search on "spiritual growth" and those words (as well as many images) resonated with my thoughts on spiritual growth.
Here are the images that captured my thoughts on spiritual growth:
First.... Are you ready to grow?
If you aren't ready...
If I'm not ready...
If we're not ready...
it's not going to happen.
By grace (again), it could happen. God works in us even when we're not paying attention, but God doesn't force.
Growth from reading/studying the Word/Scriptures.
Stages of growth.
What are my next steps on the journey? Spiritual growth is an ongoing journey. There will always be a next step. Listening, seeking, being open to next steps of growth is part of the growth journey.
I found this quote today. It's great! We do stand, fall, stand back up, take steps, fall again, walk, wobble, fall, run, fall.... but, eventually we fly! Awesome! The journey of spiritual growth (of any growth) is not easy or painless, but it is worth it. To grow emotionally, physically, spiritually, and even financially (though I'm not sure I will experience financial growth in my life), there is growth pain involved because of falling down, failures, mistakes, etc. But we learn in and through all of those experiences too... or can. I want to fly! Before I fly in my spiritual growth, I will continue to wobble like the "weebles" and I will even fall down. One day, I will fly!
In my search for images and in thinking about spiritual growth, there was one image and one word that struck me as the counterproductive one on the journey. For me, it has no place on the journey. It only delays and destroys the journey. What is that one word that struck me today? complacency.
This quote by A.W. Tozer says: "Complacency is a deadly foe of all spiritual growth."
I would agree. Complacency doesn't allow growth; it kills it.
In order to assess where you and I are on the growth process, to make sure that we aren't in a complacent place, I found a resource from LifeWay that will be helpful. It's a 12 page discipleship resource with charts to prayerfully reflect upon where you are and where you're going. Check it out. Spiritual Growth Assessment Process. I guarantee you that if you (and I) are willing to spend some intentional time on the assessment process and make plans for our next steps, there will be no complacency taking over our growth.
I had the older version and was glad to hear that they put out an updated version. I imagine there is a new handbook put out every four years after the General Conference because it contains the names of the Bishops (pp 24-26).
Let's Go Fishing: Making Disciples of Jesus Christ for the Transformation of the World is the latest version of the United Methodist Handbook.
Why am I so excited about it?
Because it is a wonderful resource. Because it has great content that looks awesome. Because it's FREE!
Yes, you read that last part correctly. It's free. How? Why? When you read the back cover of the handbook, you learn that it is made available through support of the World Service Fund. Awesome!
I first learned about this handbook several years ago. We currently have the older version of the handbook at our church available for folks in the information racks. There is great information in that version, too, though not quite up-to-date.
It's a resource I think should be in the hands of every person attending a United Methodist Church or interested in learning more about the United Methodist Church.
It won't answer all your questions, but it will give you insight, information, and places to go for further information. It also provides great pictures and shares some neat stories about different people and their lives and ministries.
Among the things you will find in the handbook: what United Methodists believe, about grace (prevenient, justifying, and sanctifying), information about FREE online United Methodist courses (Four Areas of Focus, Connectional Giving, United Methodist Basics), information about United Methodists around the world, who and where the Bishops are, a glossary explaining selected United Methodist terms, what it means to be connectional, etc.
Check out the table of contents for the entire listing: (it's not that easy to read here...)
Here's a map of the jurisdictions and conferences within the United States:
Are you wondering how you can get one of these FREE handbooks?
You can visit www.umcgiving.org and order a copy for yourself and/or a handful to give away. Remember, it's FREE. (I ordered 10 over the summer and finally found an occasion to give 8 of them away in a Disciple's Path class I facilitate. I guess it's time for me to order more. ☺)
This handbook was created by the United Methodist Communications.
Thank you United Methodist Communications for putting out such a wonderful handbook. Thank you World Service Fund for covering the cost of this handbook.
If you're wondering how this post "fits" with my other posts, well you might consider this a "book review" or a "handbook review". Or, you can note that I'll write about almost anything I come across along my journey path and share it with others.
If you've not yet checked out Let's Go Fishing on your journey, I would encourage you to check it out. Who knows what might come from checking out the beautiful photographs, maps, and information.
Yesterday's services were both encouraging worship times for me.
I knew going into Sunday morning that I would be leading prayer time for the 9am service and I was grateful for the opportunity to serve in that capacity. And though I'm glad my Associate Pastor was able to be at home resting and recovering from last week's surgery, she was missed by many in the congregation (myself included). Last month I was able to lead in prayer for the 9am service and that was a blessing too. It is something I enjoy doing and was part of a rotation several years back.
What I didn't know until Sunday morning was that I would be helping with communion too. That's not a big deal because I'm ready and willing to help serve as needed. It's also not a big deal because I've helped with communion many times now, doing the liturgy in several settings and serving in many more settings.
But, somehow, Sunday morning, when I got into the Sanctuary and went over the parts I'd be doing, it struck me --- I've never "done" a communion service at my home church. I've not done the liturgy part there in that congregation. And, for whatever reason, I suddenly got nervous. In my moment of nervousness, I sought out a dedicated prayer warrior whom I knew would pray. We exchanged prayer requests and I let it go. I also thought of the time I served communion at an Academy session with my clergy friend Marysol from Puerto Rico. That gave me reason to smile.
It's not always easy to worship when you're participating in the worship service. It is even more difficult when you shuffle the items in the bulletin around and forget to mark them on your copy. ☺ It all worked out and we all worked together to get things done. I was able to worship through the music on both the piano, the organ, and the songs sung by the choir. The choir sang "Blessed Assurance" as a call to worship and "I Remember You" prior to communion. Both drew me closer to the throne so I could worship.
In the communion liturgy we remembered those in our congregation who had passed this past year. All Saint's Day is always a special time to remember the saints in our lives who have gone before.
The sermon was the last in a series of living generously. We watched the final clip, "Seed Time" and I was encouraged by the changes in the character's life (Frank) that had taken place over the past several weeks. With God, giving isn't just giving, it is sowing. Sowing is a wonderful investment that will reap much. My pastor preaches with his heart and soul. When he is touched something, you know it. He was touched yesterday. He said he wanted to change the world and be part of a movement and I took that as a challenge for me too. I want to be a part of that change and movement. With God as our Master Landscaper we can be tools in the re-landscaping of our worlds so that we are changed first. As the Spirit is sown with us, the Spirit will be sown in the lives of others in our path.
The challenge / question(s) that he left us with was: How will I serve the Spirit? / What is God asking me to do through His church? (with my energy, my resources, my time, etc.) / How can I partner with God?
Good questions to contemplate!
Go to rhemedia.com or vimeo (and search for rhemedia.com) for some clips from the "Living Generously" series.
You can go to the rhemedia website by clicking here. They are the ones that make the films.
You can also check out the Generosity Trust website. Here is the direct link to generosity training. This will take you to a preview and information about the "Living Generously" series too.
Though the sermon series came to an end yesterday, "living generously" isn't over, it is just beginning.
It's time to spend some serious contemplating on those challenge questions and then step into living a more generous life!
Blessings on your journey!
Debra
P.S. There was one thought I had during the service that I thought would have been cool... for the pastor to take a handful of seeds, like the gardener Ray in the video clip, and throw them up in the air. It was "seed time" and time for sowing. ☺ However, that probably wouldn't have gone over too well. I guess one could always throw packets of seeds, thus not requiring a massive clean up afterwards. It was just a thought. Something visual. Something tangible. An extra take-a-way. ☺
(2nd service.... great music, energy, and sermon for the 2nd time. This time I enjoyed it fully as a participant and even caught more of the video clip by watching it two times.)
