The Journey is an Adventure; I am an Alien

Tuesday, March 26, 2024

A Community of Grace--The Walk to Emmaus

before the walk

also before the walk-- some hammock time!

Two weekends ago I served on an Emmaus team as Assistant Spiritual Director. It wasn't my first time in that role, but it has been a couple of years since I was on a team. I've been doing quite a bit of reflecting around my Emmaus experience, what it has meant to me, what it has offered me, etc. since I have been on this team and was on the walk.

The Emmaus community has offered me a space of grace and love ever since I went on my walk (#25) in 1998. Beth Peacock was the Lay Director and Al Bowles was the Spiritual Director. I met people in conversations that knew my Aunt Jane in Dalton (who died at the early age of 33). There had been obstacles to me getting to be able to go on that walk, but in the end, all things worked out. My sponsor was going to trek with me if I truly had to "walk" to the Emmaus walk. That is a story in itself. God filled me to glowing and over-flowing, refreshing me as I was (and still am) a giver. I was a professor at a Christian college at the time I went through the walk. Probably the biggest thing on that walk was that I felt the nudge to let go of someone in my life. I truly didn't understand it at the time. It didn't make sense to me. But it was preparation for me, as after the walk things began to unfold. This isn't the place for that full story here. What is important is that the space of grace and love on the Emmaus walk offered me a space to listen and hear God speaking. The time apart allowed me to experience the love of God in community in a way that is unique to what we normally experience, though we are called to that kind of kingdom living-- agape acts of kindness, grace, etc.

The first team I was asked to work on was for fall 2000 as an Assistant Table Leader. Marian Brown was the Lay Director. I was so excited to be on a team. I took myself off that team when I found out I was pregnant. I knew I couldn't serve on an Emmaus team as a pregnant single person. I didn't tell anyone why I took myself off the team. I also wrote a letter to my teaching institution, resigning for personal reasons at the end of the semester. I went up to "Send Off" for that Walk to be a part of the community. Some of my friends on the team and in the community asked me why I wasn't on the team. I told them it was because I was pregnant. I feared rejection and condemnation. What I received was love and grace. The Emmaus community did it again.

The first team I got to work was #34, in 2001. Marcia Swearingen was Lay Director. Linda Hessell was Spiritual Director and Cliff Herd was Assistant Spiritual Director. I served as Assistant Table Leader.

From there, my involvement looks this this:

2003--Chrysalis #25. Lay Director: Giddy-Up (Linda Wiemer). Spiritual Director: Michael Morton. I served as a CHA. I also gave a talk, "Prodigal". Though unusual for someone in that position to do so, it seems God was working at that time for God's purposes.

2004--Chrysalis #?. I served as a Table Leader at the table of "Yeehaw"

2005--Crossroads #7. Lay Directors: Tobie Sehon, Kevin Trobough. Spiritual Director: Cliff Herd. Assistant Spiritual Directors: Valorie Brown, Tim Smith. I served as Table Leader "R.A.I.N." "Prodigal" talk?

2006--Crossroads #8. Lay Directors: Marcia Swearingen, Scott Henze. Spiritual Director: Tim Smith. Assistant Spiritual Director: Adam Clegg. I served as Head CHA.

2007-- Crossroads #9. Lay Director: Sarah Norris. Spiritual Director: Ed Snow. Assistant Spiritual Director: Valorie Brown. I gave the "Prodigal" talk ?

2008-- Women's Walk #49-- Lay Director: Jean Davis. Spiritual Directors: Mark Davis, Jim Boyd. I was an Assistant Table Leader. That walk I was given the name "Monique". :) I found a note I had written in my purple book from that walk from one of the worship times. On it I had written something I felt impressed upon my heart and mind. It didn't make sense to me then, but it was real. Much like the situation in 1998. It was simply a name. As I reflect upon this now, I am in awe of a Creator who loves us so much to prepare us for things. Creator God prepared me to start letting go, even though I didn't understand at the time. I am learning that I don't need to understand. I can trust.

2012--Women's Walk #57. Lay Director: Anne Wheeler. Spiritual Director: Ben Matherly. Assistant Spiritual Director: Kent. I served as Table Leader and gave "Change Our World" talk.

2013--Women's Walk #59. Lay Director: Kathryn Geddie. Spiritual Director: Carolyn Braddy. Assistant Spiritual Director: Cheryl Clark. I served as one of the Assistant Lay Directors and gave "Grow Through Study" talk.

2014--Chrysalis #44. Lay Director: Shawn Dunn (King). Spiritual Directors: Amy Nutt, David Graves. I was in the Prayer Chapel with Diana Kidwell.

I gave "Obstacles to Grace" talk for a walk. ??? (which walk?)

2015--Women's Walk #26 Still Waters Community. Lay Director: Kelly Bell. Spiritual Director: Valerie Sinclair. I was one of the Assistant Spiritual Directors and gave the "Prevenient Grace" talk.

2017--Women's Walk #68-- Lay Director: Glenda Peck. I was Spiritual Director. Cliff Herd was Assistant Spiritual Director. "Means of Grace" talk

2018-- Women's Walk #? Gave "Prevenient Grace" talk.

2019--Women's Walk #71-- Lay Director: Susie Gilley. I was Spiritual Director. Michael Morton was Assistant Spiritual Director. "Means of Grace" talk

2022--Women's Walk #72-- "Sanctifying Grace" (talk only, but stayed for the day)--Glenda Peck was Lay Director. Susie Gilley was Spiritual Director and Mark Davis was Assistant Spiritual Director

2024--Women's Walk #74. Lay Director: Sandy Hubbs. Spiritual Director: Ed Snow. I served as Assistant Spiritual Director. I gave the "Sanctifying Grace" talk.

Over the years, I haven't written down the information as detailed as I could have and therefore, I don't know how many times I've given the "Prodigal" talk-- at least 3 times. I haven't written down all the lay talks I've given, but I think I've given one more than I've listed above. Based on my notes, I've given all the clergy talks except "Justifying Grace", but I don't seem to have all the information for the "Obstacles to Grace" talk, so who knows. :)

All the walks, all the positions, all the serving, that isn't really the point here.

Here's the point: the Emmaus community has been a space of grace and love for me over the years since 1998. That's a long time. It has upheld me, helped me grow deeper in my faith, offered me a space of grace along the way. I have gone from laity to clergy within the community.

What I realized this past walk, through the team meetings and the walk itself, is that I am able to be the me I was created to be in the Emmaus community. What does that mean? I am someone who will continue to go deeper and deeper spiritually. I can be that person in the Emmaus community. I am also someone who enjoys fun, goofiness, wearing tons of tie-dye, and loving life. I can also be that person. It's not an either/or. I can simply be me. To my knowledge, there has been no condemnation of me over the years for divorce, getting pregnant, become a pastor as a woman, etc. I have been able to listen to God's call on my life and live into it. Now, it's not the only space of grace that has offered me this place to grow--- the Academy for Spiritual Formation, the Fellowship of Spiritual Directors and Retreat Leaders, my Spiritual Direction cohort through Columbia Theological Seminary, my camp tribe, some other life-long friends, family, etc. are among other spaces of grace that have allowed me to be me. But this post is about the Emmaus community, thus the focus on it. :)

Before going into the weekend on March 7th, I shared this:

As I prepare to go into this weekend, these words from verses 9 and 10 of Psalm 40 resonate this morning:

I tell the glad news of
Love's way
to all wo will listen.
Yes, I raise my voice,
with praise and acclamation.
I tell of Love's saving grace
within my heart,
I speak of Love's faithfulness
and healing power.
I aspire to reveal your steadfast love
and truth
through the witness of my life.
From Psalms for Praying by Nan C. Merrill, 2007

After the weekend on March 11th, I wrote this:

"I am extremely grateful to and for the Emmaus Community. I went on my walk in May 1998. Walk #25, Chattanooga/Lafayette Community. Since then I have been on numerous teams for women's walks, Chrysalis, and Crossroads. I have been able to attend Tres Días Con Dios. I have served in most every lay position possible and then became clergy. Since then, I have served on several teams going back and forth between Spiritual Director positions, tag teaming with other clergy. Who knew I needed to be reminded of the support, love, grace, and community? God. Who knew that my authentic self needed a place to be free to shine and soar? God. Thanks, Creator God, for the team preparation and for the weekend. These heart photos were taken after the walk at Camp Lookout. God's love was everywhere. I walk forward in trust, remembering I am not alone. It's all about grace. :) #SeeAHeartShareAHeart""

Here are some things I've read recently that have resonated with me.

This quote that I saw posted by Kat Garcia Hunt, who posts all kinds of thoughtful, reflective, and artistic things:

"The seed decomposes & pushes out of the casing that has held them, the caterpillar lies in their dark containment, turning into soup before they are butterfly, & spring is birthed from the decay of what has gone before.

If you want transformation to grow into your life, if alchemy, medicine & beauty not yet tasted are to unfurl, you must first let your new beginnings shed what contains, binds & hinders them, pulling you into the rot, the blackening, the decay, the sweet compost & the fertile stew of what tames your growth.

Even the smallest change of direction asks for the putrification of some old way of being.

To live & grow, is to die to something over & over."

Brigit Anna McNeill

Seed. Caterpillar. Transformation. New beginnings. Growth. Change of direction. These are not new concepts for me, yet things to ponder once again.

And this quote from a newspaper article on Methodist churches in North Georgia from Sunday March 17:

"No matter how painful the pruning might be, it is a way to make room for new life, new growth. It reminds us how God continues to work in and through us just like God works in all creation." (Bishop Dease, being quoted in the article written by Shelia Poole)

These words from Bishop Dease (Bishop in North Georgia Conference of the UMC) caught my attention and resonated with me because they were so close to what I shared in a "Sanctifying Grace" talk the week prior on the Emmaus Walk. I used similar words about pruning, new life, new growth, and God working. Reading these words in an article brought them back to me, for me.

Some of what I noted about pruning in the talk I gave about "Sanctifying Grace":

· Perfecting involves pruning. (See John 15:2) The Bible tells us that every vine and fruit tree requires pruning, and so do we. A life in grace is a life in process, and some of this process is painful.

· I find it encouraging that God is not finished with me, that God’s call and God’s promise to me are ongoing, working in and through me. The process of spiritual maturity and growth can be painful, as I mentioned a few moments ago. A pruning process in my life has come from much prayer and discernment as I recognized the Holy Spirit was leading me to a path of ministry within a family leave of absence, pressing the “pause” button on pulpit/congregational ministry. This new ministry of serving my parents and their two businesses allows me to still fill in for pulpit supply and have opportunities for other ministries, such as this weekend. The pruning process of perfecting us requires a “letting go” in order to receive and allow growth. Though I may not understand all of it in my situation, I can walk in trust of God’s call and God’s promise. I often say that this ongoing life in grace with God is an adventurous journey.

I shared in the talk that seeing hearts in creation (and even in onion rings and other things) has become a reminder of God's loving grace and presence. I gave out hearts to everyone as a tangible reminder of God's love. I closed the talk with these words:

"As you continue your grace journey, remember that God’s grace is never ending. May you see and experience tangible examples that God cares about you through seeing hearts, whether in nature or an onion ring. Maybe the heart that you got today will be a reminder that God’s grace is with you, perfecting you, offering you new life/light/strength/heart, restoring you, and equipping you. #SeeAHeartShareAHeart"

From going on my Emmaus Walk to serving on Emmaus teams, to reading quotes that cause me to pause and reflect, Creator God continues to show me grace, to work in me, to work through me, to prune me. This truly is an adventurous journey and I am grateful to be on it.

It is worth sharing Psalm 40, verses 9-10 again for reflection. I invite you to read in through 2-3 times, using lectio divina, sacred reading, a method by which you read slowly to see what catches your attention. The three times of reading can be noted as "Read, Reflect, Respond, Rest". If you are curious about lectio divina, check out the link below.

Peace,

Rev. Deb

(or as recently been named, Rev Rev Deb) :)

P.S. The photo of Jesus below is a Jesus therapy doll. I've written about him before. I was introduced to him during my Two Year Academy for Spiritual Formation. I'll share the links with blogposts with him in it below.

Jesus

twinning with heart tie-dye shirts

LINKS:

Chattanooga/Lafayette Emmaus
The Walk to Emmaus
New United Methodist churches emerge in Georgia, article from March 17, 2024
Lectio Divina

a few Jesus Doll posts:

Pentecost Sunday 2020-- Same Spirit-- June 5, 2020

Academy #32 Session #6-- "Cry of My Heart"-- October 1, 2012

¿Dónde está Jesuú? / Where is Jesus? -- Session#8 of Academy #32-- May 12, 2013

Friday, March 15, 2024

United Methodist Revised Social Principles

Last night I attended another RMN (Reconciling Ministries Network" Field Guide to General Conference on ZOOM. This one was on the United Methodist Revised Social Principles.

John Hill, Interim General Secretary for GBCS (Global Board of Church and Society) led the discussion, which was very informative and helpful.

There were several things that caught my attention and stuck with me.

The re-ordering of information and conciseness of it all. I like the way the revised social principles ordered topics, arranging them logically and in helpful categories. Being able to see the side-by-side changes was helpful in understanding these changes.
Another thing that stood out to me was the wording of "Community of All Creation". What a beautiful way to word that section.
The entire "preamble" is pretty awesome (pages 6-7). This section below is what John shared at the closing of the ZOOM meeting:

"Therefore, whenever significant differences of opinion occur among Christians, some of which continue to divide the church deeply today, faithful Christians need to face their disagreements and even their despair, and not cover differences with false claims of consensus or unanimity. On the contrary, the church needs to embrace conflicts with courage and perseverance as we seek together to discern God’s will. With that understanding and commitment, we pledge ourselves to acknowledge and to embrace with courage, trust, and hope those controversies that arise among us, accepting them as evidence that God is not yet finished in sculpting us to be God’s people."

"God is not yet finished in sculpting us to be God's people." Wow. That has sanctifying grace written all over it. It rings true. It resonates. Can we live into it? Can we lean into it? Can we allow the God of creation to continue working in and through all of us?

The very end of the preamble says this: (it wasn't shared in our ZOOM meeting, but I find it powerful as well)

"Recognizing that God is our Creator, Redeemer and Sustainer, we seek to center our lives and witness on God. We are confident that nothing can separate us from the grace of God, and that the social witness of the church is a testimony to that grace. With God’s help, we pledge to share ministry and honor everyone’s dignity, even when we disagree, to seek the mind of Christ, and to follow God’s will in all things."

This is to be our focus as followers of Christ, "to seek the mind of Christ, and to follow God's will in all things."

I have hope for us moving forward, that we can lean into the Holy Spirit's movement and be God's people, sharing ministry and mission in ways that offer grace to all people.

Another aspect of last night's ZOOM that was encouraging is that when these Revised Social Principles are adopted (yes, that's my optimism), there will be a study guide and other resources added to them, similar to the availability of those resources for the current edition.

John mentioned that the hope is that people will find this revision more "readable, teachable, and preachable". That is exciting! I enjoy reading, teaching, and preaching!

These Revised Social Principles are meant to empower and equip ministry and mission across all contexts.

In the "Community of All Creation" section, a John Wesley quote begins the section:

"The great lesson that our blessed Lord inculcates here…is that God is in all things, and that we are to see the Creator in the glass of every creature; that we should use and look upon nothing as separate from God…who pervades and actuates the whole created frame, and is, in a true sense, the soul of the universe."

"God is in all things."

"We are to see the Creator in the glass of every creature."

If these are true statements, then who are we to continue NOT seeing God in all of creation, human and otherwise?!?! How can we become better stewards of what God has given us to love, to take care of, to watch over-- in all of creation-- human and otherwise?!?!

I haven't read all of the Revised Social Principles yet, but will work my way through them. I am definitely encouraged by last night's introduction to them, as it was my first time to hear about them.

Peace on the adventurous journey,

Rev. Deb

to order this t-shirt, click on this link

LINKS:

GBCS website-- all sorts of information and resources-- check it out!

2016 Social Principles

Revised Social Principles Reflect Worldwide Church-- article written by Kathy Gilbert, 12/12/19

The Revised Social Principles, Creation Justice, and General Conference-- article written by Mark Davies and Sharon Delgado, 2/8/24

Friday, February 23, 2024

The Importance of Removing Harmful Language from the United Methodist Book of Discipline

Last night I attended a "Field Guide to General Conference" sponsored by RMN (Reconciling Ministries Network) on the topic of removing the language from the United Methodist Book of Discipline at the upcoming General Conference 2020, to be held in April 2024.

I could go into the history about how it wasn't there for the longest time, but I'm not.

My focus is going to be on my reflections from last night's Zoom meeting that was led by Rev. Molly Vetter from L.A., California.

One of the things we did in this workshop was answer the three questions:

Why is this (removing the language) important to me?
Why is this important to us (us-- can be United Methodists, identity of United Methodists, Conference, etc.)
Why is this important now?

Rev. Molly Vetter shared that these three questions come from Marshall Ganz who is a social movement legend (per the website I posted) and has lots of experience in social and community change.

I realized that even though I am for removing the language from the Book of Discipline, I haven't thought about it in these terms.

For those who aren't aware what "language" I am referring to, here is a link for all the sections.

Now, for my thoughts on the three questions:

Why is removing the language that is harmful important to me?

There is language that affirms everyone as "persons sacred of worth", then goes on to say that even so, they aren't eligible to serve, become ordained, or be married by clergy, etc. Can you say "mixed message"?!?!? It is important to me that there is no mixed message. People are either sacred of worth or they aren't. And, we aren't the ones to decide. God, Creator, Great Spirit, the One who created (Psalm 139) and who names and calls us by name (Isaiah 43:1) is the One for that.

Removing harmful language is important to me because I've seen so much hurt in the LGBTQ+ community because of it. Thankfully, I did serve a RMN church where the gay community was allowed to lead music, teach classes, and preach. I loved asking my siblings in Christ to fill the pulpit for me when I was going to be away. The grace of God was palpable in and through them.

That brings me to another reason for me that it so important to remove any and all harmful language. In my humble opinion, it goes against God's grace. And for me, it's all about grace. As a follower of Christ and as a Wesleyan, grace is a foundation of lived out faith. And, maybe it's just me, but harmful language to my siblings in the Kingdom does not show grace.

I don't want to continue the harm we've been perpetuating for years. It hurts my heart to see all the brokenness and pain it has caused to those who love God, to those I love, and to those who have decided that Christians aren't Christ-like.

Why is removing the language important for us (as United Methodists)?

My answer to this one flows from my personal answer. For me, the identity of a United Methodist has a foundation in grace. There are other foundational doctrines. Check out the #BeUMC link below for themes. Another place to go is John Wesley's statement: "Do no harm; do good; stay in love with God." This became known as the three general rules. Rueben Job wrote a small book about them: Three Simple Rules. Another version of this book that I prefer is Three Simple Questions. I didn't find out about this second one until several years ago. I recommend them both, but like I said, the second one stands out for me.

As we as United Methodists attempt to "do no harm" and live out the grace of God, it simply makes sense to remove harmful language. By not removing language, we are continuing to create a barrier of exclusivity, of hurt, of harm. Isn't it time to do the difficult work of healing?

Which brings me to the third question:

Why is this important now?

If not now, then when? How long do we continue causing harm? When do we truly begin to live into the grace of God for all God's people? When do we offer a place of healing for people who are called by God to serve in the kingdom of God?

Other denominations have done the difficult work of healing, of reflection, of digging deep into the heart of God to allow God through the Holy Spirit to do an amazing work in and through lives.

Can we, as the United Methodist denomination be open to the working of the Holy Spirit and allow her to flow like a mighty wind into our system? Can we be moved into a place and space of grace that allows us all to find new and deeper meaning of what it means to be in community with all persons of sacred worth?

The meeting was closed out last night with a reading, a benediction of sorts from Sam Parkes that really touched me. I hope to be able to see it soon (I am a visual learner primarily and it helps me to see things.)

I hope for healing for all the LGBTQ+ beloved siblings who have been hurt by the church and Christians. I want to be part of the healing process, not the harming process.

I hope for them, for you (if you're reading this) that we will get it right in the United Methodist denomination. Regardless, I hope you know how beloved you are, created uniquely by the Creator. Listen to the Inner Voice of the One who created you.

May we all listen to that voice and respond as we deem appropriate,

Rev. Deb

Additional articles and links:

The UMC's Messy Language about Sexuality -- Chris Ritter, April 2016

#BeUMC

#ResistHarm

Thursday, February 15, 2024

A short ride with wings in the wind

I have been hoping for some warm weather and I got it today. Warm weather and a few moments to take a break from work to ride. I only rode about 11-12 miles, but it was sufficient to enjoy the wind beneath my wings.

It was 66-68 degrees Fahrenheit, clear blue skies, and warm. Even so, I wore my leather jacket.

I meandered some small roads through a neighborhood from work, coming out near the fairgrounds. I went straight and then turned right onto Veterans.

I found myself at Trinity UMC, where a colleague serves. We served in Rossville, GA at the same time when I was in my first appointment. He was in a N. GA church and I was serving a Holston one. (Interesting tidbit-- there are 4 UMC churches in Rossville, GA.-- 2 in HolstonConferenceand 2 in N. GA.)

I pulled over into the parking spots in front of the church to take a photo of the church. I will share with my colleague who also speaks Spanish.

After continuing my ride, I turned left at the next light and made my way back to the by-pass. I decided to turn left to go to Kroger gas to see if they had 100% gas. Nope. Need to find some. As I was about to pull out, a police car and a hearse came by, leading a funeral procession. I stayed put, as did everyone. This was my first time to ever come across a funeral procession while riding. In my previous years of riding. It never happened. Funeral processions have taken on a different meaning for me since I have been in so many of them. The pastor usually rides behind the hearse, though I have ridden with a funeral director a time or two. Sitting there on my bike today, offering my condolences and respect to the family in silence was meaningful.

After they passed on, I continued my ride, turning right onto the road I had come in on earlier. I crossed the RR (railroad) tracks for the 2nd time, took the curves up and around.

I made my way back to Chattanooga Avenue and the office.

It was a good ride. There were moments of full freedom and enjoyment, especially when there were no cars around. Even in slight traffic, it was good. The ride gave me peace.

I am noticing the difference in the Rebel and my Yamaha. I miss the 750, but the 250 is a good size for me these days.

Being on two wheels today was good.

Deb

Additional photo:

Ash Wednesday--Lent begins

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. The Lenten season is a 40 day preparation season leading up to Easter. Only Sundays don't count in the 40 days, as Sundays are "little Easters". What's all the preparation for? In the past, it was a time for people to learn and prepare for baptism. Overall, it's a time of reflection leading toward the death and resurrection of Christ. These are my words. You can find more scholarly explanations out there in books, devotionals, on the internet.

As I was reflecting yesterday about Ash Wednesday, I saw a JGP (photo) about Ash Wednesday and Valentine's Day that really resonated with me. It caused me to think further about things. I wrote a short post about it and included a short portion from Psalm 139 from Nan Merrill's Psalms for Praying.

"Ooohhhhh. This is perfect! God, who is love, created us in God's image. Thus, we are love. We are from love and will return to love when our time in this realm is over.

What a great way to reflect on Ash Wednesday.

Here is Psalm 139: 23-24 from Nan Merrill's Psalms for Praying, as an additional reflection this day:

"Search me, O my Beloved, and know my heart! Try me and discern my thoughts! Help me to face the darkness within me; enlighten me, that I might radiate your Love and Light!"

Remember you are love and to love you will return."

I spent time with a group of great folks from my spiritual direction program on Zoom for a bit. It was wonderful to re-connect with them and to establish a new space with them going forward in our journey as spiritual directors in group supervision.

Riley and I went to lunch in a new place for us, OB3B. It was a cute and fun deli. The reuben was delicious!

When I got home, I took some photos of the crocuses in the neighbor's yard.

I went to Welcome Home of Chattanooga, as is my custom on Wednesdays. It was a pleasant surprise to learn that a barbershop quartet was coming that afternoon. And, the wonderful "cookie lady" brought special cookies for the day. In addition, I had several great conversations.

Upon arriving home, I was told Cliff put out petals for me leading to a beautiful bouquet of roses on our dining room table. Cliff is our sweet dog. Who knew?!?!

We headed over to Burks UMC where we would be attending the Ash Wednesday service. Prior to the service, I wanted to walk and pray the labyrinth that is found on the back of the property. Unless I make an intentional effort to go there, I don't. Last year it was my Lenten practice to walk and pray the labyrinth once a week. That's not a bad practice. I decided to incorporate that again into my week. Maybe I can do more than once a week.

As I walked and prayed the labyrinth yesterday, there were several things that swirled in and out as I walked the path of the labyrinth. There were two thoughts that stood out about everything else: "thy will be done" and "joyful obedience".

I participated in the readings with the pastors Rev, Dr, Brian Burch and Rev. Leslie Daniels for the Ash Wednesday service. I am grateful for the opportunity to assist. I received my ashes.

It was a full day, a good beginning to the Lenten season.

Deb

Thursday, February 8, 2024

Remembering Mahoney

"God of Resurrection Light:

In your love I live, and in your life I am lifted out of the darkness of every difficulty. Today, I pray to deeply remember that you are drawing me out of the shadows and filling my heart with a song of prayer: When in darkness with no light but that which in my heart does burn, you, Lord Jesus Christ, bring the warmth of love. Amen."

~Peter Traben Haas

Centering Prayers, p. 32

DHS, class of 1982

Mahoney.

I don't know what about *today (March 20, 2023) caused you to come to mind, Mahoney, but you did.

As I was making my Monday drive to Dalton, out of nowhere you entered my thoughts. It was everything together: you and me riding the bus together when we were little and your Dad was the bus driver; to our text messages, our visits, and our phone calls; and then your celebration of life, way too soon.

I looked up your obituary to see if March 20th held any significance, but your passing was in January-- 3 years ago. And your birthday isn't this month either.

Tears streamed down my face as I remembered our youth and as I remembered our visits at Siskin and on the phone, texts.....

Life is so dang short. I am grateful for you, Mahoney. Alicia.

But we always called each other by our last names. Many of us did.

We had our DHS class of '82 40th reunion this past fall (fall of '22). We remembered you and our other classmates who have gone before us, all too soon.

Today, I remember you. I give thanks for you. Though I may not understand the tears or the memories, I am grateful for all of it.

Love you Mahoney,

Pittman

Addendum:

This is what I posted on January 27, 2020 upon learning of your passing:

"My high school classmate. My bus buddy as kids. My band friend. My friend. Mahoney. (Last names were what we used.) A privilege to walk some of the last couple of years with her, though I wish I could have been there more. So grateful for the visits, the texts the calls. Peace, dear one. Comfort and peace to your family. #DHS82"

This is from a different post on January 27th, 2020:

"Grieving the loss of a classmate with whom I just exchanged missed calls and texts two weeks ago today. Wishing I had spoken with her instead of just texting. Grateful for the time I have had with her these past several years in visits and texts and calls. Thinking of her family. Peace on this day."

I started this note to you last March, 2023. It was odd that you came to mind on that day. Maybe that date was one where we texted or visited.... or maybe it had no significance.

This year, 2024, I unexpectedly found your grave site on my Monday evening walk on January 22nd . I thought about you and our visits, your funeral..... I miss you.

It was truly an odd unexpected moment to come across your site. I walk the cemetery some, but rarely that section. I walked it that January evening because I was remembering when my Dad and I wrecked on his motorcycle coming down a steep dirt hill there.

Finding your grave allowed me to think through all the times again. Thanks for receiving my visits at Siskin!

Life is short. I am grateful for how you made my life better.

Peace to you, friend.... Pittman

*I originally began writing this in March of 2023. But couldn't finish it. Today I found the '82 yearbook and am able to finish it, adding some words and a photo.

Wednesday, February 7, 2024

I Did A Thing

I did a thing on Monday.

It wasn't something I did without much thought, prayer, discernment, etc. In other words, it wasn't a spur-of-the-moment thing and it didn't come "out of nowhere". Now, if you don't know me well or are just getting to know me, you may not understand that this dream is not new. So, I'll share some of that here too.

But, you might want to know what "thing" I did, right?!

I bought a 2003 Honda Rebel 250.

It's not my first bike. In fact, it's my third. I have the "M" on my driver's license to denote I'm a motorcycle rider, too. I never let that go. I guess you might say that I never let the dream go of having another bike. For me, it was a "dream deferred". I was open and honest with the Holy One on that too. I said take away the desire. It had not gone away. You can read about "A Dream Deferred" here: A Dream Deferred from August 6, 2016.

I have been looking on and off for a while now. I was seriously considering a Honda Rebel 300 or 500, but then this 250 came across my path. It had a windshield and a sissy bar already, was used with low mileage, and was about 1/2 the price of the new one I was considering. That was important because we still have a college kid in his last semester of undergraduate school and that is a financial priority.

As I considered this Honda Rebel 250, I asked the owner some questions. Then, I asked my brother to go take a look at it with me on Monday. He knows bikes. I trust his judgement. If there were any red flags, he would let me know. I was ready to walk away from it or ride it home.

My brother test rode it after we checked it out. I test rode it after him. Everything was good for what I need and want at this time in my life. So, I bought it and rode it back to Dalton, where I will keep it, since I am there about 1/2 the week. (Thanks, bro!)

The ride from Cleveland, TN to Dalton, GA was about 30ish miles, maybe 33. I forgot to look at the odometer for exact mileage. I also didn't look at my time piece for when left and arrived, but I would say that with traffic, it was about a 40 minute ride.

It was a GREAT ride! The weather was in the 60s on Monday. Though it was a bit windy as it was getting later. I wore my riding jacket, a thick brown leather jacket. I had my riding gloves and my helmet. I also wore my Timberland boots that I used to always wear for riding.

Highway 60 getting out of Cleveland was a bit nerve wracking, as there was some traffic. I don't like traffic. The turn signals aren't as easy to push as my Yamaha 750, so it will take some practice. But, I navigated fairly decently.

I kept a good pace and stayed the speed limit. A trucker and a whole line of cars were glad when we hit the Georgia line and a secondary lane to the right. I pulled into the right lane and they all passed me. I was going the speed limit, but they were wanting to zip on to their destinations.

My goal isn't speed. My goal is enjoyment. I love to feel the wind "beneath my wings", so to speak. I enjoy being out on the back roads. I talk about being on two wheels as one of my spiritual practices. And, for me, it is. Anything that draws us closer to the One who Created us can be a spiritual practice. And riding a motorcycle became that for me.

To be back on one this past Monday filled a space within me.

It felt good to be back on the road. Another thing that confirmed it for me was the first time another motorcycle passed me in the opposite direction and gave me the "motorcycle wave". That felt so natural and awesome as I gave the wave in return. It's a feeling that isn't easy to describe, other than it felt right.

One of the reasons I wanted a 250 was because of my shoulders and hips. I went through a 3 year period of frozen shoulders and I have had hip replacement on one hip in 2015. I still need the other side replaced, but so far, so good. I needed a bike that I can hold up when I stop, that I can lift back up when it falls (it is bound to happen-- I dropped my Yamaha once in the University parking lot and needed help getting it upright). This bike is a perfect size for me and weight. I forgot to mention my height. I am one of those "short people", height challenged, so a lower to the ground seat is perfect for me. The Suzuki 650 and Yamaha 750 bikes that I previously had were perfect in that area too.

Monday's ride back to Dalton without any stops was a tad bit long for my hips, though they did well. I will need to figure out what length ride they can handle. I will also need to get back into my stretches.

If you want to see some photos of my Yamaha 750 Maxim, you can read the post I mentioned earlier "A Dream Deferred" from 2016. You can also read Two Wheels Again from May 28, 2015. It was great to get that bike fixed and going again. It was devastating for me when it kept breaking down every time I rode it home. So, I gave it away. For free. To the shop.

I don't know where photos are of the Suzuki 650. It's a bike that we bought when we lived on Long Island and brought down to TN. We rode it around Dayton, TN quite a bit. It wasn't working when we divorced (first marriage), so I got the bike. Then, we I got pregnant, I decided I shouldn't be riding anymore. So, I got it worked on and sold it.

Then, the desire to ride came on and a bike came my way. I rode my kiddo on it, commuted back and forth to the University where I taught on it, rode on back roads, took my kiddo to TaeKwonDo on it (wearing the gear bag over my shoulder), rode it to Howard High School when I went to tutor kids, etc. As I've mentioned, I rode that bike until it started having issues. It was an '81 model. Then, I took it to Chattanooga State and let them work on, stripping it down to a skeleton and rebuilding it.

Back in the saddle again, as they say. Now, I still have my two wheels bicycle and I will still be riding that. I got back into riding during the pandemic and will keep on riding those two wheels. That is just as much a spiritual practice, being in the wind, under tree canopy, time with the Creator.

On Monday, I posted some photos and this on my social media:

"So, I did a thing today.
I wore celebratory tie-dye to commemorate the occasion.
This rebel that you see in the photos is my 3rd bike. I have gone from a Suzuki 650 to a Yamaha 750 to this super cute Honda 250 Rebel. I rode it back to Dalton today from its home in Cleveland, TN. My first time back on a bike since my Yamaha died and I gave it away to a bike shop. I am super excited to live into this spiritual practice once again. You will probably see a blog post coming soon. #outdoortime #spiritualpractice #motorcycletime 🏍"

The celebratory tie-dye that I wore on Monday came from a shop that I have recently come to know: Schaffer's Creative Chaos-- Tie Dye. I have been wearing tie dye since I was a little tyke and have been adding to my collection over the years. Now I have some fresh pieces.

Oh, a couple more things about motorcycles...... I have ridden them since I was a kiddo. My Dad had them, so I grew up around them. I most likely mention that in some of the posts, somewhere. My Dad rode us on the bikes and he also had Enduro races at his campground. I have memories of riding. My brothers had a little Honda 70-- it was yellow-- that they rode at our family farm. I rode it some too. Our cousin Hank had a dirt bike in Tifton, GA and I rode it once. Unfortunately, I popped a wheelie (unintentionally) with a friend on the back and she got some exhaust pipe burn (as I remember the incident-- sorry!!!)

I share the above to let you know this is NOT any "mid-life" thing. This is me.

In fact, I did let go of my bucket list to jump out of a plane (sky-dive) for this 59th year celebration, in order to compromise for the bike. Yes, that was on my bucket list for this year. And, in case that seems odd to you, for my 49th, I went hang gliding-- a GREAT experience. I think I wrote about that too.